Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So vagazzling was a success
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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