I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
