Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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