I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
