I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
operation harelip BJ is a go
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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