Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
