He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
