I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize