Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
