dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
