8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
