I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize