I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
