Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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