just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
