Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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