I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
