Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize