You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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