I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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