Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize