man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
