Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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