I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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