I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
