Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We need to get me chipped asap
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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