He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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