Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
