i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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