Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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