i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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