I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize