Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
