i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
