Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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