We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize