My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
