I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
