so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
