This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
