my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
