I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
