Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
