hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
