You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's just like the Real World with babies
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
