Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
