tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
