Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Come see our sink grown plant.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
