i don't like sucking hair
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
