Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
