If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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