Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
smell my finger.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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