Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
