shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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