No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
