it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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