she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
