I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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