Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize