let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
