After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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