I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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