im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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